Elayne Boosler said, “When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It’s a whole different way of thinking”.
Did Elayne knew while stating this, that she might have discovered a goldmine of wisdom- the root cause of so much hurt, resentment, tears, between men and women?
If she did and if she ‘understood’ the gravity of what she was saying, applied it in her life; her relationship with a man would be an almost perfect- give and take; more listening and less of nagging; empathy, not fault-finding; a warm embrace instead of a simple nod; a verbal endearment in place of silent appreciation; in a nutshell, a man and a woman would be able to find that ‘elusive’ communication bridge that could dissuade such differences if not put them away for good.
In today’s age where one can get information on anything under the sun at just the click of a mouse; no wonder one would find a potpourri of books on the man and his counterpart, the woman.
Let’s name a few… at the top of my head…I can recall
1. Men are from Mars, women from Venus
2. Why men don’t listen and woman can’t read maps
3. Why men don’t remember and women never forget
4. Brian sex: the real difference between men and women
5. Why men lie and women cry
6. Why men don’t have a clue and women always need more shoes( I love this one! )
Ahem, need I name more??? I guess you get the flow by now.
The point is can any of these books, no matter how well researched upon, written and read, really make a mark difference in the interactions between the two sexes???
It will always be true that the brain is made primarily of two different types of tissue, called gray matter and white matter. Research reveals that men think more with their gray matter, and women think more with white. Men would do better in mathematics whereas women better them at social sciences and languages.
Let’s state an example :
( This example is frequently mentioned in most articles. I have just tweaked it a bit)
A disclaimer: This story is fictional. All characters in this story are fictional. They have no resemblance to any person living or death. If you wish to differ on this, you can take it up with me, one to one :P
Sam and Carol have been together for some months now.
Today is a good evening. Both were having a good time together. They saw a movie, laughed through popcorn spills, and went for a drive.
At the traffic stop, Carol looked over at Sam, her heart warms up at the mere sight of him and wondered where they were heading. 4 months was a long time of being together.
Carol, her heart racing, her stomach churning, casually yet suggestively told Sam, ‘ Hey, we have been together for 4 months now Sam’…
Sam, a surprised look on his face responded ‘ wow! 4 months eh???’ and smiled.
And then he suddenly remembered that his car’s servicing date was 4 months overdue. Damn! he missed it again.
Frowning, angry at his carelessness Sam drove hurriedly through the traffic to drop Carol home.
Meanwhile, Carol was in smithereens!
She thought, ‘Oh what have I done! I have angered Sam… he must be thinking am pushing him towards a commitment he is not ready for’…
Before she stepped out of her car, she turned to Sam and said ‘Sorry Sam. It was a harmless statement. I did not mean to put you off. Thanks for the lovely evening’.
Perplexed Sam, embroiled in his car servicing issue and the football match he might missed if he does not hit the wheels soon, muttered, ‘It’s ok. Thanks. See ya Carol’.
And off he goes!
Now you don’t have to be a genius to predict what happens next :D
Carol would be weeping her eyes dry, call up her girl-friends, discuss Sam, dissect his every word, their every conversation for hours, come out with two to three conclusions…and remain miserable for the whole week!
On the other-hand, Sam was glad to make it on time for the match!
And a thought of Carol and her strange apology just made him smile-‘Women!’, he exclaimed.
Funny eh?
Yeah, it would be funny if it only was not so exasperating, if only you are not a Sam or a Carol.
However, why try to disrupt the yin and the yang?
Women will always worry about the things men forget.
Men always worry about the things women remember.
Let the books serve as guidelines for better relationships.
Don’t expect them to somehow transpose men’s thinking pattern into women’s and vice versa.
As for me, I always prefer taking my coffee in a cup that comes with a saucer :-)
