...She was of 20 years. She led a good life. A well-respected loving family, friends by the dozen, a college degree to pursue, a boy friend, a hundred and one million things to do; in short a picturesque lifestyle.
Hell broke lose one day, when an expression of her love and passion, had dire consequences. She found out she was three weeks pregnant. Outside wedlock, this is not the done thing.
Not just because society frowns upon it but she had her father’s reputation to protect.
He was an established preacher in the community.
Confining herself in solitude, she stopped attending classes, began gorging on books, and resorted to pills in-order to quiet the growing life inside her, until one day she was discovered.
The house had the aura of a funeral home. Quiet sobs, with an occasional wailing here and there filled up the rooms. A devastated family stood around, shocked, bewildered,
in-decisive about the next course of action. It’s a marvel how the undying human spirit shows up at such times. It guides us to pick up the broken pieces, patch them together and build an equally beautiful story of triumph.
She finally gave birth to a beautiful baby, walked down the isle with the child’s father, created a life for them as a family, working odd jobs; completed her degree, went on to attain her masters with honors. She is now in pursuit of a Phd in Education, while lecturing at a University, lovingly and selflessly putting her house in order—a handful 24/7 job needless to say, with two small kids and an equally busy husband.
____________________________________________________________________
..........She is now of 40 years, single and with job. The youngest daughter in a community that, apart from handing over the family legacy to the youngest daughter, also hands over the cloak of duty and responsibility of providing, protecting and caring for the parents, old and most likely worn out with the aches and pains of life.
She had (still does) a beauty and a charm about her and yes more than a handful suitors.
Yet, she chose not the path of a married life. None of her loved ones could understand the reason why. Maybe its because she never met the right man. But on after-thought, maybe its because she wanted to give her undivided love and attention to either her aged parents or her husband but not both.
Looking at her now, juggling between her work and her nursing duty at home brings up emotions mind you, not of sadness or sympathy, but awe!
Her home is the family home, where all gathered around for family meets or occasions.
Her ears are always ready to listen and make your burdens, seem lighter.
I have heard and seen frequent nights when she remained awake all night just to cater to the needs of her invalid parents. Yes, I have heard her quiet sobs of weariness but voila, the next minute her giving, loving, compassionate spirit is back!
I realized that if I was even half the woman, the human that she is, maybe my life would be more fulfilled..,I won’t have to be another Robert Miles who says he has miles to go before he sleep.
Maybe it is the natural instinct to be free,to seek freedom that prompts me to start blogging....Maybe its because its a fad that any so called 'thinking individual' has a modern day diary...Maybe its because am bored...Maybe i succumb to pressure from friends....Whatever the reason, here is my private garden,i plant the seeds,i water them,marvel at my handiwork and share it with loved ones;-)
Friday, April 13, 2007
Thursday, March 08, 2007
When two old friends meet...
Their story dated way back to the 90’s.
They started off with a bang in the last year of school.
They soon became inseparable while in college.
Through those early woman years, they dreamt together, shared, laughed and cried.
Through crushes and similar love interests, they revel.
Attending tuitions together, added the fizz in their academic pursuits.
In their clumsy grown up years, they tried to live ‘beyond their ages’ for each other; counseling, reprimanding, tried to give each other the wisdom that can only come with age. So in this endearing comedy of ‘being there for each other’, they flourished.
Two girls, both the youngest in their respective khasi*- families, fed with similar values and principles, schooled in the same institution, reservoirs of big dreams: one wanted to be a doctor , a good daughter and wife , while the other wanted to be an engineer, gain wealth, power and fame.
In their similar attributes they relish and in their differences, they grew in respect.
College years drew to a closed. It was time to go in pursuit of your dreams. While one went off to a different state to learn what it takes to become an engineer, the other stayed back in Shillong, hoping to get a foothold in the medical field.
They parted but of-course, never said good-bye. In course of time, the frequent letters became infrequent, till there were none. The holidays were re-union time-sharing, bonding, laughing on lost times. Soon changes in lifestyles, thinking, people, priorities, experiences, did not bring them together on holidays. It was such that, one was unaware of the other’s presence in the same city. None was to be blame. Time just had its cards to play.
But lo and behold, on one fine Friday noon, the 2nd of March, 2007…while she was passing through a busy shopping area in Shillong, she saw a pretty petite lady in jainsem.
‘Jenny!’ she shouted in pleasant disbelief.
Stunned, the petite lady shouted back ‘Yet, is it really you!’.
In seconds and in smiles, they were hugging each other.
It took less than a mili-second for that old feeling of warm, camaraderie, loving friendship to overwhelm them.
The more bubbly and vivacious of them both, Jenny was ecstatically shouting ‘We need to meet now! We have a lot of catching up to do. I have so much to tell you. Let’s have coffee somewhere. Yet, today, tonight, now…we need to talk’.
Bemused but wonderfully touched by Jenny’s warm and lovable nature (something Yet always cherishes about Jenny), Yet could not say no.
In a matter of 30 mins later, the two old friends met up at New Hope Centre restaurant.
Jenny, has come a long way. With honors in MSc, she is now a distinguished lecturer in Martin Luther’s University, Shillong. She is a gem of a lady, well-loved by many (especially counting by the line of suitors she has), a well-deserved princess in her family, highly responsible and dutiful. And oh yes, as lively and so ‘full of stories’ as ever.
The highly ambitious Yet, is in the rat race of climbing the corporate ladder, working in an American IT company. She is forever in the battle of trying to bring a balance between her professional duties and the call of duty at home- for her parents.
So it was inevitably that when the two old friends got together, they set the house on fire, in no time.
After 7 years of being in and out of touch with each other, they sure do have a lot to catch up on. Through two rounds of coffee, they went through the bits and pieces of each others work lives, family lives and of-course, their rollercoaster love lives.
They have been tried and tested in similar yet, unrelated ways. It amazes them that at 26, they were single, almost committed and still so confused.
They have not done so badly with their lives. They have worn the ‘mantel of responsibility’ for their parents and siblings with grace and élan. But they still marvel at the fact that even-though they are now well accomplished, financially independent and secured, they have still to find that ‘magic formula’(if there was any) to make the men in their lives as comfortable as they felt. As loving and giving as they both are, they felt bereft of the same.
Thus, they concluded that if you are a woman who is of 25 years, still not married or hitched, you will soon be at the crossroads of the most tumultuous, tear jerking, complex phase of your life; where even if you have carved a niche for yourself , you would still be left wondering, where the hell is your life heading!
The non-stop chattering, sobs, smiles, comforting words between two friends had to end, as the noon turned into night, and as the Shillong night air turned cooler. They hugged, provided each other with comforting words and advices, promised to be in touch with the exchange of email-ids and phone numbers, bid good-bye till…time favors their meeting again.
They parted as friends, as kindred-souls, as two girls each living a woman’s life….
Their innocence and sincerity is there for every living soul to see and feel.
Monday, February 26, 2007
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Of heroes & lessons
When all is stripped away, we look within our hearts.
While this is a typical human retreat, it could be a relevation of something as cryptic as what made you who you are now. Would you bleed when pinced or would you counteract, would you smile or cry with happiness...
I don't have an idol nor an ideal. But i have come across heroes, ate with them,sup with them,withnessed their lives, and their simple acts of living, have helped shaped me for what i am today.
'Mei Emma'-the most dedicated mother ever.She was my governess till i was 10 years old.I was the apple of her eye;i was her weakness too.I recall , to my detriment she would rather support me, even if i had wronged my sister .She provided that critical security required in the formative years of a child, that when she finally passed away, i did not even blink!
That's the strength of true love...it lives on.
I saw how the struggles and the daily-grind of his 20 years as a coolie,has etched on his face, lines of prudence and humility.He did his task with deligence,making it all look so easy and effortless, despite his limping and his old-aged.In the hury and bury of the Guwahati railway station, my folks missed out on giving him his well-earned wage.His face, his thoughts has resided in my mind for many years now.He has kept me sane and humane.He helped me think before i disregard another being because of his vocation or social-standing.
Nine luggages and no reservation, i was stranded at Kathgodam railway station.With a general class ticket on my hand,i was helpless.How was i suppose to get into the general compartment with nine baggages,in the rush?Well, angels do exist.Out of no-where, this young nondescript lad turned up, took my luggages, shoved them inside the train boggie and got me a seat. Bewildered as i was, i was thankful.I found myslef lodge in a compartment full of men-folks, wooden seats and the thought of having a night's rest, just flew out the window.Against my will, i nodded off to sleep, only to find my head resting on the lad's shoulder in the wee morning hours.He assured me not to worry and eventually he even made sure i arrived safely in Delhi.
I have not forgotten you Arjun.Your thoughtfulness have made me a better person more than you'd ever know.
Little acts like these by strangers i have met in my journey so far;
their stories shared in words and seen through their eyes;
Have definitely shaped my outlook.
There are many more stories to be told of refined individuals, living ordinary lives who have become my heroes through the years...
I hope i lived long enough to tell their stories.
For now all i could do or say...is hope that
'In my life, you are lifted up.
In my world, you are lifted up.
In my prayers, you are lifted up.'
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