Did I change???
That’s the question I ask myself these days. My best-friend made such a comment (‘Coret, you have changed’). It may have been said in jest, but it definitely made me introspect.
What was that famous adage?? Doesn’t it go something like – ‘There is nothing constant, but change’ or ‘Change is the only constant’?
If I subject myself to this adage ( a universal truth) as a measurement of what I was and what I have become outwardly
( my weight keeps oscillating monthly, gone are my acne prone days, boy cut to long tresses, a confused boy wanna-be to a somewhat tolerable lady…et al ), then yes, I have definitely metamorphose!
However my ethos, my psyche is the same.
As a child and a teen-ager, I was restless. One moment, playing basketball was the ‘it’ thing for me. Next minute, making it to the football team was my only goal. It does not matter whether I have the natural talent or not. I would make it to the field every morning, religiously do the rounds, and judiciously try to learn the tricks. I was no star. I did not excel, was not a favourite but somehow I made it to the team!
Now, as an adult, a job holder, a team member, a team player, I don’t stand out, i rarely give my opinions but I would somehow make sure i am heard.
The same grit, spunk, un-dauntedness… border- lining on stubbornness (at times), keeps me going.
My aunt and her friends, loved to tease me. She would tickle me with a caution ‘If you love me, you will not laugh’. As ticklish and uncomfortable as I felt (most times, I had to refrain myself from hitting her), I would muster up all my strength and will- power, remained stoic and not laugh!
I hated to displease or offend her! (I was only a kid).
This characteristic of not wanting to displease anyone, has made its way into my adult life.
Fortunately, it has landed me in the good books of people(sigh!,which is not always good, i know).
Unfortunately, I have subjected myself to many awkward situations, an inch shy of getting into real trouble.
I loved with a fierceness, blind to a fault. I support with a die-hard attitude. The 1993 French Open Final. The clash between 2nd seeded Jim Courier and 10th seeded Sergei Bruguera.
Sergei Bruguera, I have never heard of him before.But somehow minutes before the final game started, I made a decision to support him. Why I fancied him in a second, I do not know!!! From the time he hit the first serve, I was at the edge of my seat, cheering, praying, crying at every point he lost (my amused family were egging him to lose, just to annoy me. Mom and sis were laughing at me). Every nerve of my being was on alert, and when Sergei sailed through 6-4 2-6 6-2 3-6 6-3, I was on my knees crying with joy. That memory is etched into our memories till today. Mom still love to tease me on that.
And so as an adult, I love the same. Fiercely, passionately, zealously- be it for a person or thing.
Through disappointment, tears, joy, happiness, smiles, pain, this would not change. I would still love this way. It’s the only way I know.
Drilled into our minds since childhood to love your neighbor as yourself, not to respond to evil with evil,instinctively my actions would be geared to doing just that(i try!).Dad had once said,'Be as gentle as a dove and as wise as a serpent'- i am still learning to live by it.Such was my upbringing.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that certain peculiarities would never change.
I would still bump into anything that stood on my way; drop things involuntarily; get peeved if someone is rude; annoyed if the 4 curtsies – please, thank you, sorry, excuse-me are overlooked; for peace-sake keep my mouth shut, grin and bear with it; irked by unanswered calls/texts/ emails (am guilty of the same though); fret over trivial things and … many other vices.
My grandpa would trim the branches of the camellia tree every summer, so that next season, the camellia flower would bloom into a more luscious, healthy, vibrant pink. The branches of the tree re-grows but the roots remain the same.
My ethos would remain the same.
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
Don't hmm me!!!
The ‘hmm’ expression
I hate to be hmm at. It’s a downright rude expression!
And to my dismay, I found that it does exist in the dictionary.
Defined as an Interjection, it is an expression ‘to express thoughtful absorption, hesitation, doubt, or perplexity’. I am not surprised. But I would like to add to the definition.
I have been ‘hmm’ too many a times.
And the feeling I get is a perplexing one.
I ask a friend ‘You hung up on me all of a sudden. Did I say something wrong?’
An answer to this question could be yes or no.
However, incase my friend does not want to appear impolite, he could come out with a tactful answer, maybe something like ‘ Oh no, I pressed the wrong button. My bad. ’ (yeah right! ) or a more believable one like ‘ I don’t know how but the network just went off’ (in 6 cases out of 10, this could be a genuine answer).
But my friend said ‘ hmm, not at all’.
Wow, if it weren’t so pathetic, this could have made me laugh it off.
‘hmm, not at all’- he wants to appear tactful, courteously shrugging off the fact that what I said might have pissed him off, but he failed miserably… because to me the ‘hmm’ is a dead giveaway of your true sentiments.
I hate to be hmm at. It’s a downright rude expression!
And to my dismay, I found that it does exist in the dictionary.
Defined as an Interjection, it is an expression ‘to express thoughtful absorption, hesitation, doubt, or perplexity’. I am not surprised. But I would like to add to the definition.
I have been ‘hmm’ too many a times.
And the feeling I get is a perplexing one.
I ask a friend ‘You hung up on me all of a sudden. Did I say something wrong?’
An answer to this question could be yes or no.
However, incase my friend does not want to appear impolite, he could come out with a tactful answer, maybe something like ‘ Oh no, I pressed the wrong button. My bad. ’ (yeah right! ) or a more believable one like ‘ I don’t know how but the network just went off’ (in 6 cases out of 10, this could be a genuine answer).
But my friend said ‘ hmm, not at all’.
Wow, if it weren’t so pathetic, this could have made me laugh it off.
‘hmm, not at all’- he wants to appear tactful, courteously shrugging off the fact that what I said might have pissed him off, but he failed miserably… because to me the ‘hmm’ is a dead giveaway of your true sentiments.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Cup and Saucer
Elayne Boosler said, “When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It’s a whole different way of thinking”.
Did Elayne knew while stating this, that she might have discovered a goldmine of wisdom- the root cause of so much hurt, resentment, tears, between men and women?
If she did and if she ‘understood’ the gravity of what she was saying, applied it in her life; her relationship with a man would be an almost perfect- give and take; more listening and less of nagging; empathy, not fault-finding; a warm embrace instead of a simple nod; a verbal endearment in place of silent appreciation; in a nutshell, a man and a woman would be able to find that ‘elusive’ communication bridge that could dissuade such differences if not put them away for good.
In today’s age where one can get information on anything under the sun at just the click of a mouse; no wonder one would find a potpourri of books on the man and his counterpart, the woman.
Let’s name a few… at the top of my head…I can recall
1. Men are from Mars, women from Venus
2. Why men don’t listen and woman can’t read maps
3. Why men don’t remember and women never forget
4. Brian sex: the real difference between men and women
5. Why men lie and women cry
6. Why men don’t have a clue and women always need more shoes( I love this one! )
Ahem, need I name more??? I guess you get the flow by now.
The point is can any of these books, no matter how well researched upon, written and read, really make a mark difference in the interactions between the two sexes???
It will always be true that the brain is made primarily of two different types of tissue, called gray matter and white matter. Research reveals that men think more with their gray matter, and women think more with white. Men would do better in mathematics whereas women better them at social sciences and languages.
Let’s state an example :
( This example is frequently mentioned in most articles. I have just tweaked it a bit)
A disclaimer: This story is fictional. All characters in this story are fictional. They have no resemblance to any person living or death. If you wish to differ on this, you can take it up with me, one to one :P
Sam and Carol have been together for some months now.
Today is a good evening. Both were having a good time together. They saw a movie, laughed through popcorn spills, and went for a drive.
At the traffic stop, Carol looked over at Sam, her heart warms up at the mere sight of him and wondered where they were heading. 4 months was a long time of being together.
Carol, her heart racing, her stomach churning, casually yet suggestively told Sam, ‘ Hey, we have been together for 4 months now Sam’…
Sam, a surprised look on his face responded ‘ wow! 4 months eh???’ and smiled.
And then he suddenly remembered that his car’s servicing date was 4 months overdue. Damn! he missed it again.
Frowning, angry at his carelessness Sam drove hurriedly through the traffic to drop Carol home.
Meanwhile, Carol was in smithereens!
She thought, ‘Oh what have I done! I have angered Sam… he must be thinking am pushing him towards a commitment he is not ready for’…
Before she stepped out of her car, she turned to Sam and said ‘Sorry Sam. It was a harmless statement. I did not mean to put you off. Thanks for the lovely evening’.
Perplexed Sam, embroiled in his car servicing issue and the football match he might missed if he does not hit the wheels soon, muttered, ‘It’s ok. Thanks. See ya Carol’.
And off he goes!
Now you don’t have to be a genius to predict what happens next :D
Carol would be weeping her eyes dry, call up her girl-friends, discuss Sam, dissect his every word, their every conversation for hours, come out with two to three conclusions…and remain miserable for the whole week!
On the other-hand, Sam was glad to make it on time for the match!
And a thought of Carol and her strange apology just made him smile-‘Women!’, he exclaimed.
Funny eh?
Yeah, it would be funny if it only was not so exasperating, if only you are not a Sam or a Carol.
However, why try to disrupt the yin and the yang?
Women will always worry about the things men forget.
Men always worry about the things women remember.
Let the books serve as guidelines for better relationships.
Don’t expect them to somehow transpose men’s thinking pattern into women’s and vice versa.
As for me, I always prefer taking my coffee in a cup that comes with a saucer :-)
Did Elayne knew while stating this, that she might have discovered a goldmine of wisdom- the root cause of so much hurt, resentment, tears, between men and women?
If she did and if she ‘understood’ the gravity of what she was saying, applied it in her life; her relationship with a man would be an almost perfect- give and take; more listening and less of nagging; empathy, not fault-finding; a warm embrace instead of a simple nod; a verbal endearment in place of silent appreciation; in a nutshell, a man and a woman would be able to find that ‘elusive’ communication bridge that could dissuade such differences if not put them away for good.
In today’s age where one can get information on anything under the sun at just the click of a mouse; no wonder one would find a potpourri of books on the man and his counterpart, the woman.
Let’s name a few… at the top of my head…I can recall
1. Men are from Mars, women from Venus
2. Why men don’t listen and woman can’t read maps
3. Why men don’t remember and women never forget
4. Brian sex: the real difference between men and women
5. Why men lie and women cry
6. Why men don’t have a clue and women always need more shoes( I love this one! )
Ahem, need I name more??? I guess you get the flow by now.
The point is can any of these books, no matter how well researched upon, written and read, really make a mark difference in the interactions between the two sexes???
It will always be true that the brain is made primarily of two different types of tissue, called gray matter and white matter. Research reveals that men think more with their gray matter, and women think more with white. Men would do better in mathematics whereas women better them at social sciences and languages.
Let’s state an example :
( This example is frequently mentioned in most articles. I have just tweaked it a bit)
A disclaimer: This story is fictional. All characters in this story are fictional. They have no resemblance to any person living or death. If you wish to differ on this, you can take it up with me, one to one :P
Sam and Carol have been together for some months now.
Today is a good evening. Both were having a good time together. They saw a movie, laughed through popcorn spills, and went for a drive.
At the traffic stop, Carol looked over at Sam, her heart warms up at the mere sight of him and wondered where they were heading. 4 months was a long time of being together.
Carol, her heart racing, her stomach churning, casually yet suggestively told Sam, ‘ Hey, we have been together for 4 months now Sam’…
Sam, a surprised look on his face responded ‘ wow! 4 months eh???’ and smiled.
And then he suddenly remembered that his car’s servicing date was 4 months overdue. Damn! he missed it again.
Frowning, angry at his carelessness Sam drove hurriedly through the traffic to drop Carol home.
Meanwhile, Carol was in smithereens!
She thought, ‘Oh what have I done! I have angered Sam… he must be thinking am pushing him towards a commitment he is not ready for’…
Before she stepped out of her car, she turned to Sam and said ‘Sorry Sam. It was a harmless statement. I did not mean to put you off. Thanks for the lovely evening’.
Perplexed Sam, embroiled in his car servicing issue and the football match he might missed if he does not hit the wheels soon, muttered, ‘It’s ok. Thanks. See ya Carol’.
And off he goes!
Now you don’t have to be a genius to predict what happens next :D
Carol would be weeping her eyes dry, call up her girl-friends, discuss Sam, dissect his every word, their every conversation for hours, come out with two to three conclusions…and remain miserable for the whole week!
On the other-hand, Sam was glad to make it on time for the match!
And a thought of Carol and her strange apology just made him smile-‘Women!’, he exclaimed.
Funny eh?
Yeah, it would be funny if it only was not so exasperating, if only you are not a Sam or a Carol.
However, why try to disrupt the yin and the yang?
Women will always worry about the things men forget.
Men always worry about the things women remember.
Let the books serve as guidelines for better relationships.
Don’t expect them to somehow transpose men’s thinking pattern into women’s and vice versa.
As for me, I always prefer taking my coffee in a cup that comes with a saucer :-)
Sunday, March 09, 2008
Just for you Girl- From my heart to yours
You asked me ‘how life is’, am so tempted to say ‘it’s a farce’.
Sacrilegious!
How could you utter such words?
It’s not the done thing.
It’s the least expected from you girl.
What happened to you?
How could you hurt your mama and your papa, with such a careless attitude?
Weren’t you taught to be joyful in every situation?
Yes I was.
And yes I was taught about all the goodness there is in the world.
Be good cause good always has a way of coming back.
Sweet.
We are taught how to be everyone else, except ourselves.
‘Smile though your heart is breaking,
Smile even though it hurts.
When there are clouds in the sky, you’ll get by-
If you smile, through your pain and sorrow.
Smile, and maybe tomorrow, you will see the sun come through..’
Oh yeah, smile, swallow it all down, don’t lash out.
Don’t lash out?
Yeah right! If you don’t vent out, you are doing good to everyone else except you.
So hey girl, you wanna swear, you wanna cry your eyes dry, you wanna scream your lungs out, you wanna take that trip just for yourself, you wanna throw all cares to the wind for at-least a day?
Do yourself a favor.
Do it.
You are better off being yourself, woman.
Listen to what your heart says for a change :-)
Happy Woman’s Day!
Sacrilegious!
How could you utter such words?
It’s not the done thing.
It’s the least expected from you girl.
What happened to you?
How could you hurt your mama and your papa, with such a careless attitude?
Weren’t you taught to be joyful in every situation?
Yes I was.
And yes I was taught about all the goodness there is in the world.
Be good cause good always has a way of coming back.
Sweet.
We are taught how to be everyone else, except ourselves.
‘Smile though your heart is breaking,
Smile even though it hurts.
When there are clouds in the sky, you’ll get by-
If you smile, through your pain and sorrow.
Smile, and maybe tomorrow, you will see the sun come through..’
Oh yeah, smile, swallow it all down, don’t lash out.
Don’t lash out?
Yeah right! If you don’t vent out, you are doing good to everyone else except you.
So hey girl, you wanna swear, you wanna cry your eyes dry, you wanna scream your lungs out, you wanna take that trip just for yourself, you wanna throw all cares to the wind for at-least a day?
Do yourself a favor.
Do it.
You are better off being yourself, woman.
Listen to what your heart says for a change :-)
Happy Woman’s Day!
P.S. This is dedicated to all my woman friends.Let's be true to ourselves.
It's ok to be YOU.
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