2 years has just blitzed by me...
So my reflective mood is understandable.
Cilche as it sounds, i have come a long way since 14 Feb, 2005.
That direly morning, in pitch darkness the bike went out of control and bam!, my head took the heaviest physical beating ever.
Its suffice to say, it beat the living daylights out of my loved ones. As i stayed unconcious on the hospital bed, they were in angst.
As i opened my eyes, dazed, unable to comprehend what is happening around me--That's when my 'real living' started.
Its an understatement to say that i was like a zombie.As i was recuperating, i was trying to bring back a semblance into my mind (a task not made easy, as my head chose to play a rigmarole,inducing excruciating pain).I was wondering, how did this happen,why did it all happen, what happens next, what has broken and how was i suppose to pick up the pieces??
Slowly, life got back into so called normality.
It wasn't easy.There were a lot of emotions gone awry, and in the midst of trying to set things straight, i lost more that what i had bargain for.Yes, it brought up a huge wall between me and my best-friend.Our friendship was in pieces. But hey, at the same time, i gained more that what i had ever dreamed of.I met and gained a friend,a comforter,a soul-mate, and if fate permits-a life time companion.
Looking back,it feels sadistic that 'one man's lost is another man's gain' or is it 'you lose some, you gain some'???
Well student life finally came to an end.We moved on in the hope of building a career for ourselves.With the Almighty's grace, i landed myself in a good job with a handsome deal, in one of the leading life-insurance companies.I was looking forward to a career in Pune city, when fate decided otherwise.I was posted to Siliguri,a small town in the East of India.Needless to say, but i was deeply dissapointed.
My experience in Siliguri did not last long as i chose to quit,believing i could do better.But the experience did give me a taste of the mundane office-work;the unavoidable office politics;the person who smiles with you, is not necessarily your supporter;and i saw how the indian work culture does not bow down to any foreign work-etiquettes.
Back in Pune, i was on the job hunt.But atlast, with the inspiration from my friend, i moved to Bangalore in search of better pastures (maybe this city-hopping is an inherent trait of our so called nomadic ancestors :) )
Yeah, rightly said that if 'one door closses, another one opens up'. So there i was learning the ropes again, working with Oracle.Next time someone tells you, education is important, for your own good, don't take it as your Bible.Because what you do in your job, is a re-engineering of whatever was taught to you rather an application of what you had learnt.
By then i was a seasoned player in the job world.
As pompous as i may sound, i knew what i wanted, what fires me up, what am good at, and what makes me sleep with a smile at the end of a hard day at work.
So, am happily settled now with Ariba Technologies.
Learning and applying what i learned, has never been more exciting.
Three jobs in a matter of one and a half years, broken and rebuilt relations,losing some-winning others,beliefs shaken-beliefs strengthen,love lost-love gain, giving in to drawing the line, cuppachino to coffee mocha...
Yes, i am alive...
and am living it...
Some questions still remain unanswerd...and i don't know if they will ever be...
It is safe to say, am geared up...excited to see what fate throws my way. Whatever comes, whatever happens, i sure do hope that i will be wearing my head upon my shoulders, and my heart upon my sleeves :)
yes the 2 years have just zipped by my life....and when i see back now its so amazing that more you want to hold time the more its lips out of ur hands just like soft sand. The same time , A sec second some times feels like Eons. And that night of FEB 14th 2005 was a EON which i thought would never end....and was afraid i might loose myself that night. God almighty saved you from darkness...u have got the second chance in life. The answers which are unanswered in ur life is the reason ur stl alive...
ReplyDeleteGod help and guide us all. Wish God talks to me the way he does to you...i tried to see the signs but iam stll the boat in the ocean which is lost in time n world
College is over. Bombay-Pune mail, departs Pune at 3 am in the freakin morning. Hardly few hours before that I bid farewell to my friends, people who have been around me, with me, for me for 2 years. It's not as easy as it's made out to be. Shit stinks. I sit there on the train for about 30 hrs, all by myself. Enough time to look back and reflect on how things had turned out. More than enough time to think about my first job in a new city - the sheer anxiety of it all. I reach home, walk in, my parents are out of station. I'm greeted by my neighbours. I put my bags down, sink into the couch and take a deep breath - i'm home. Phone rings. Expecting to hear my mom's voice, I pick up phone only to hear a voice saying "there's been an accident".
ReplyDeleteI slow down, my mind desperately trying to put things in perspective. It's not working. I get very sketchy details. Two wheeler, two friends, head injury and unconscious. Try word associations with that.
Two calls and fifteen mins later, i'm back on the couch thinking, she's good for this. Nothing's going to happen. Just need to decide when to call her.
I realise that the thoughts in my head for the past 30 odd hrs were completely meaningless in light of the past 15 fifteen mins.
The mind is consumed by events, mostly in order of chronology. What is left after that moment in time is the memory.
The event can pass, but the memory remains.
You can never lose a friend, you always have the memories.
That night was an accident, nothing less and definitely nothing more.
Have the courage to let the events pass. Have the heart to cherish the memories left behind.
"I chose to quit, believing i can do better" thats the line i like best about you...
ReplyDeletesorry..in continuation :).... and love about you...you did great and still doing I am very proud of you.
ReplyDelete