Deliverance ??

I was on my knees, hands folded, staring at the blank wall.
In the distance I could hear Shania crooning ‘find your self esteem and be forever free to dream’.

Far-reaching were her words, but somehow I was no closer to an answer.
Tomorrow I would change, and today would not mean a thing.

I looked at me and I see a child and a mother.
At times I’m a sinner, now and then a saint.
I can be your dream, but I chose to be unworthy.
I have faith in the triumph of goodness, over evil;
But I succumbed without a fight to iniquity.

And, they still look at me like am an angel underneath.

Am I to be ashamed?

Can we just fast forward a few years later,
Can I just wash my hands clean and walk away;
Can I just wrap this part of me as history and sweep it under a rug,
Will my memory be so selective, as to never bring up this side of me ever again?

I know what I really want.
I want some patience, I need deliverance.
I want to make sense of the conflicts, the craziness in silence.
If there could only be a kindred soul who would catch this drift;
Cause I am so strung out and sapped.

I woke up this morning, with a new song.
My heart felt lighter, for reasons I fail to understand.
There was buoyancy in my gait, and a fresh whiff in the air.
Perplexed, I am over this turn of emotions;
I’m still trying to embrace this reversal of my sentiments.

Pray what did happened between the time I closed and opened my eyes?
Did the Maker intercede? Did he send his seraphs to whisper in my dreams?
It must be so.
For somehow, I feel so much better.