An unspoken art: The art of receiving

The art of gifting is well celebrated. Festivals such as diwali, durga puja, raksha bandhan, especially christmas epitomizes the value of gifting. Every occasion celebrated by young and old alike: valentines day, mothers day, fathers day, friendship day, daughters day, teachers day actualize and exemplify gift-giving.

Some of these festivities exist as a remembrance of some historic event such as the birth of Christ (Christmas), the return of Lord Rama to his kingdom of Ayodhya after defeating Ravana (Diwali).Others had their birthing when an individual or two started a cause base on their convictions.

Let’s see some examples.

Mother's Day was established by Anna Marie Jarvis, following the death of her mother Ann Jarvis on May 9, 1905. She then campaigned to establish Mother's Day first as a U.S. national holiday and then later as an international holiday.

The first observance of Father's Day took place in Fairmont, West Virginia on July 5, 1908. The special day was organized by Mrs. Grace Golden Clayton, who wanted to celebrate the lives of the 210 fathers who had been lost in the Monongah Mining disaster several months earlier in Monongah, West Virginia, on December 6, 1907

Oh yes, these events were soon commercialized by traders and marketers, promoting their goods and services. Fathers day was in no time capitalize by ‘the Associated Men's Wear Retailers’. They formed a National Father's Day Committee in New York City in the 1930s, which was renamed in 1938 to ‘National Council for the Promotion of Father's Day’ and incorporated several other trade groups. This council had the goals of legitimizing the holiday in the mind of the people and managing the holiday as a commercial event in a more systematic way, in order to boost the sales during the holiday.

Another heavily commercialized event would be Valentine’s Day. It is said to have originated in pagan times when people celebrated February 14 in honor of Roman God of Fertility. This February fertility festival celebration that also marked the beginning of spring was known as the Feast of Lupercalia. Today, going on dates with a beloved is a major way of celebrating Valentine’s day. Restaurants see a busy time as people celebrate the day of romance with a candle light dinner. People participate in Valentine's Day dance parties and balls organized by various clubs and hotels, private parties are hosted in homes and farmhouses where young and old have a blast. Some couple use the occasion to propose their beloved while some chose to get engaged on the festival that celebrates love and lovers.

We mark each of these festivals and events by giving gifts to one another.

It is a beautiful art of love, affection, appreciation. No doubt, an endearing act.

I am particularly enchanted when I read about the Japanese. Omiyage – art of giving is religiously followed by them. For a gift, omiyage in Japanese, presentation is of high importance. For them, quality and attention to details are hallmarks of well a well-chosen omiyage (read: http://tinyurl.com/2vzuoje )

For most of us the worthiness of the gift, has nothing to do with monetary value and everything to do with love. At least, that is one thing my mom has taught me. She also taught me that one does not need an occasion or an event to take place to honor someone in your life. This legacy, I humbly try to follow.

The art of giving is indeed beautiful.

It’s been commended, extolled, flattered, paid homage to and written about. ( “The five love languages” by Gary Chapman. Get it at amazon.com - http://tinyurl.com/36ljkn )

There is one art that is unspoken even though it is as important as the art of giving.

It’s the art of receiving.

How many of us are gracious, tasteful and elegant gift-receivers?

In my experience, I find people with receiving issues.

I remember gifting a watch to someone. His first reaction was ‘Why?’ followed by a smile of course. He was reluctant in receiving it, mouthing that as much as he appreciated the gesture, it would have cost me a bomb to get it. After much debating, he finally accepted it with whatever grace he could muster. I was glad he kept it, but whatever joy I felt in my act of appreciating his presence in my life, bombed.

The first step in the art of receiving is ‘To express appreciate by saying Thank You’.

Two simple words, joined together to convey ‘a considerate, respectful, satisfied, favorable’ emotion.

The second step is ‘To recognize and appreciate that it is a joy for people to give’.

You need to be comfortable with who you are and accept others for who they are, to be able to appreciate.

I sometimes wonder if the same grouchy receivers are also grumpy givers.

Maybe they imagine that they need to reciprocate by giving (gifting) back.

Not necessarily. Most gift-givers do not look at gifting as a barter system. I give you a watch, you give me a bracelet. If such people exist, be clear, I am not talking about them.

The third step is ‘To willingly receive without feeling the need to give back’.

Sometimes, by appreciatively receiving a gift, you have unconsciously complimented the giver.

The giver feels accepted and acknowledged.

The fourth step is ‘To reciprocate’.

Reciprocation here is to appreciate the giver with a present, maybe at another time.

Though If  bugged by impatience, you could reciprocate right away :- )

Remember though that reciprocation can also mean giving your time to that person by spending time with him or her. It can be more valuable than a gift (cash or kind), sometimes.

Not having this fourth receiving art however does not make you a bad receiver.

To conclude, Sarah Ban Breathnach (http://www.simpleabundance.com/ ) said-

 "Today, declare to the Universe that you are open to receiving all the abundance it's waiting patiently to bestow. Each day offers us the opportunity to learn that as well as giving, it is blessed to receive with grace and a grateful heart.”

 

For every cheerful giver, may there always be a thankful receiver