Women De-code

 What are the top 10 things men understand about women?

Ans: 1.
         2.
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         8.
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         10.

Really? Yes!

It’s a rare ‘true joke’. Speaks volumes, doesn’t it?

English play-writer, William Congreve, said in ‘Love for Love’ (one of his 4 comedies)  that,

“Women are like tricks by sleight of hand,

Which, to admire, we should not understand.”

I am sure if a man is reading this he would be nodding his head in agreement.

Many jokes on women, some sexist, some plain funny, have been written through the ages. They all have one common thread of thought in them – Women are complicated. We don’t understand them.

Let’s try to decode a woman’s behavior, shall we?

So, the most logical first step to take is to imagine being in her shoes.

 Are you game?

 Whoops, did I say something wrong?

 Is it too difficult for you to come down from your egoistical ivory tower?

Yes? Aww, no problem. Sip some water, darling. Feeling better now? Yes? Good.

Let’s not make you uncomfortable.

Just sit back and read this if you like.

Let’s talk about a one month life-cycle of any woman.

The month starts with happy-go-lucky days. She looks beautiful, says the most charming

things, she is coy, cute, wear gorgeous hair, has refined-painted-healthy nails and ooh la la, look at that enchanting smile. This woman is in her best element alright. 10 (10 to 15, can vary) days pass by, embroiled in day to day routine, she bungles at a task like the best of men do too, she erupts with joy over good news, is sad over bad news. Point is, if you were from outer space and watched her, you would see nothing ‘out of place’. All of human race, those ones with the balls and those with  bosoms, behave more or less the same.

Suddenly, you noticed an unknown spirit seemed to have taken over the gentler creatures of the race. Irritability, tension, dysphoria or unhappiness seeps its way into her being and possesses her for the next 10 days. Some of them have difficulty in falling asleep (insomnia), headache, fatigue, mood swings, increased emotional sensitivity, and changes in libido. Don’t be alarm. What you see is what they call PMS or Premenstrual Syndrome.

The exquisite creature called woman has suddenly bloated, has these small zits called acne on her otherwise flawless delicate face, complains of abdominal cramps, constipation, swelling of the breast, joint or muscle pain.

Shock? Ah, that explains the astonished look and gaping mouth.

Well, guess what?  It does not end here.

Conditions that can get magnified for the woman  during pre-menstruation include depression or other affective disorders, migraine, seizure disorders, fatigue, irritable bowel syndrome, asthma, and allergies.

And so the woman completes her 20 days of the month.

The next 5 to 7 days, she would be bleeding.

If you think it less troublesome for her, cause by now all of the PMS symptoms would have disappeared as mysteriously as they appeared, you are dead-on wrong.

It can be a period of discomfort cause she would have to take proper care of herself, in terms of hygiene, what to wear and how to carry herself. Normal activities does not stop. They continue, no matter what.

So she completes 25 to 27 days of a month, juggling amongst skyrocketing, see-sawing, wrecking, roller-coaster emotions.

And, it’s month end already.

This is just a month of her life.

Multiply that by 12 months in a year.

Heck, it’s all her life!

Oh do you know, she also gets hit  by menopause in the later stage?

And if you think there is a pause in these emotional upheavals, just because there is a pause in ‘meno-pause’, you are again dead-on wrong.

Menopause brings in its own stuffs!

It never ends.

So you still think you don’t understand women, mate? I empathize.

Even as a kindred soul, going through the same things like every woman, I don’t understand women. I don’t attempt to. However, my common sense tells me she needs empathy, understanding and acceptance. And that’s what I do.

All she needs is love.

I agree that the sexist jokes against women are well thought of.

I agree some jokes need to be just that- A Joke.

They are definitely well thought of. Kudos to the writers of these jokes (wishing though that they direct their creativity to more honest-to-goodness, wholesome jokes).

I just hope that they understand why.

For the sensible ones amongst men, do think twice the next time you ‘let out’ on any woman in your life, think twice before you make fat jokes, take time to listen and don’t advice. They just need you to listen.

As for all my women friends, if you want to know more about PMS and how you can prevent it, you can visit sites such as this one - http://women.webmd.com/pms/premenstrual-syndrome-pms-symptoms

To conclude, in all fairness to men, let’s smile at the following joke.

Q: How long does it take for a man to make dinner?

A: As long as it takes for him to get out the belt!

Hold on a second.

You think men have it easy???? :O

 You're dead wrong, they have to work up a sweat to keep taking out the belt and putting it back in again.

 [Disclaimer:- I am not condescending to men.I have high respect and love them dearly. I know they cry when sad, smile when glad.This post is written as an insight into a woman's world]