Saturday, July 31, 2010

In Better Hands




I thought of you today,
How you've touched our lives just a year ago.
I tried to pen down my thoughts for you,
But emotions got the better of me.
Suffice to say, you are always in our hearts and we love you so much.
Knowing you, you would have smiled and say that you are 'in better hands'.
We love you Shariba.

Found this song -- Reminds me of you. In better hands by Natalie Grant.

Friday, July 30, 2010

An unspoken art: The art of receiving

The art of gifting is well celebrated. Festivals such as diwali, durga puja, raksha bandhan, especially christmas epitomizes the value of gifting. Every occasion celebrated by young and old alike: valentines day, mothers day, fathers day, friendship day, daughters day, teachers day actualize and exemplify gift-giving.

Some of these festivities exist as a remembrance of some historic event such as the birth of Christ (Christmas), the return of Lord Rama to his kingdom of Ayodhya after defeating Ravana (Diwali).Others had their birthing when an individual or two started a cause base on their convictions.

Let’s see some examples.

Mother's Day was established by Anna Marie Jarvis, following the death of her mother Ann Jarvis on May 9, 1905. She then campaigned to establish Mother's Day first as a U.S. national holiday and then later as an international holiday.

The first observance of Father's Day took place in Fairmont, West Virginia on July 5, 1908. The special day was organized by Mrs. Grace Golden Clayton, who wanted to celebrate the lives of the 210 fathers who had been lost in the Monongah Mining disaster several months earlier in Monongah, West Virginia, on December 6, 1907

Oh yes, these events were soon commercialized by traders and marketers, promoting their goods and services. Fathers day was in no time capitalize by ‘the Associated Men's Wear Retailers’. They formed a National Father's Day Committee in New York City in the 1930s, which was renamed in 1938 to ‘National Council for the Promotion of Father's Day’ and incorporated several other trade groups. This council had the goals of legitimizing the holiday in the mind of the people and managing the holiday as a commercial event in a more systematic way, in order to boost the sales during the holiday.

Another heavily commercialized event would be Valentine’s Day. It is said to have originated in pagan times when people celebrated February 14 in honor of Roman God of Fertility. This February fertility festival celebration that also marked the beginning of spring was known as the Feast of Lupercalia. Today, going on dates with a beloved is a major way of celebrating Valentine’s day. Restaurants see a busy time as people celebrate the day of romance with a candle light dinner. People participate in Valentine's Day dance parties and balls organized by various clubs and hotels, private parties are hosted in homes and farmhouses where young and old have a blast. Some couple use the occasion to propose their beloved while some chose to get engaged on the festival that celebrates love and lovers.

We mark each of these festivals and events by giving gifts to one another.

It is a beautiful art of love, affection, appreciation. No doubt, an endearing act.

I am particularly enchanted when I read about the Japanese. Omiyage – art of giving is religiously followed by them. For a gift, omiyage in Japanese, presentation is of high importance. For them, quality and attention to details are hallmarks of well a well-chosen omiyage (read: http://tinyurl.com/2vzuoje )

For most of us the worthiness of the gift, has nothing to do with monetary value and everything to do with love. At least, that is one thing my mom has taught me. She also taught me that one does not need an occasion or an event to take place to honor someone in your life. This legacy, I humbly try to follow.

The art of giving is indeed beautiful.
It’s been commended, extolled, flattered, paid homage to and written about. ( “The five love languages” by Gary Chapman. Get it at amazon.com - http://tinyurl.com/36ljkn )

There is one art that is unspoken even though it is as important as the art of giving.

It’s the art of receiving.
How many of us are gracious, tasteful and elegant gift-receivers?

In my experience, I find people with receiving issues.
I remember gifting a watch to someone. His first reaction was ‘Why?’ followed by a smile of course. He was reluctant in receiving it, mouthing that as much as he appreciated the gesture, it would have cost me a bomb to get it. After much debating, he finally accepted it with whatever grace he could muster. I was glad he kept it, but whatever joy I felt in my act of appreciating his presence in my life, bombed.

The first step in the art of receiving is ‘To express appreciate by saying Thank You’.
Two simple words, joined together to convey ‘a considerate, respectful, satisfied, favorable’ emotion.


The second step is ‘To recognize and appreciate that it is a joy for people to give’.
You need to be comfortable with who you are and accept others for who they are, to be able to appreciate.

I sometimes wonder if the same grouchy receivers are also grumpy givers.
Maybe they imagine that they need to reciprocate by giving (gifting) back.
Not necessarily. Most gift-givers do not look at gifting as a barter system. I give you a watch, you give me a bracelet. If such people exist, be clear, I am not talking about them.

The third step is ‘To willingly receive without feeling the need to give back’.
Sometimes, by appreciatively receiving a gift, you have unconsciously complimented the giver.
The giver feels accepted and acknowledged.


The fourth step is ‘To reciprocate’.
Reciprocation here is to appreciate the giver with a present, maybe at another time.
Though If  bugged by impatience, you could reciprocate right away :- )
Remember though that reciprocation can also mean giving your time to that person by spending time with him or her. It can be more valuable than a gift (cash or kind), sometimes.
Not having this fourth receiving art however does not make you a bad receiver.

To conclude, Sarah Ban Breathnach (http://www.simpleabundance.com/ ) said-

 "Today, declare to the Universe that you are open to receiving all the abundance it's waiting patiently to bestow. Each day offers us the opportunity to learn that as well as giving, it is blessed to receive with grace and a grateful heart.”
 
For every cheerful giver, may there always be a thankful receiver









Tuesday, July 20, 2010

I hope you dance...


I hope you never lose your sense of wonder 
You get your fill to eat 
But always keep that hunger 
May you never take one single breath for granted 
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed 
I hope you still feel small 
When you stand by the ocean 
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens 
Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance 
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance 
I hope you dance 
I hope you dance 
I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance 
Never settle for the path of least resistance 
Living might mean taking chances 
But they're worth taking 
Lovin' might be a mistake 
But it's worth making 
Don't let some hell bent heart 
Leave you bitter 
When you come close to selling out 
Reconsider 
Give the heavens above 
More than just a passing glance 
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance 
I hope you dance 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xIAWY4LLsEw



Thursday, July 15, 2010

Women De-code

 What are the top 10 things men understand about women?
Ans: 1.
         2.
         3.
         4.
         5.
         6.
         7.
         8.
         9.
         10.
Really? Yes!
It’s a rare ‘true joke’. Speaks volumes, doesn’t it?
English play-writer, William Congreve, said in ‘Love for Love’ (one of his 4 comedies)  that,

“Women are like tricks by sleight of hand,
Which, to admire, we should not understand.”

I am sure if a man is reading this he would be nodding his head in agreement.

Many jokes on women, some sexist, some plain funny, have been written through the ages. They all have one common thread of thought in them – Women are complicated. We don’t understand them.

Let’s try to decode a woman’s behavior, shall we?

So, the most logical first step to take is to imagine being in her shoes.
 Are you game?
 Whoops, did I say something wrong?
 Is it too difficult for you to come down from your egoistical ivory tower?
Yes? Aww, no problem. Sip some water, darling. Feeling better now? Yes? Good.

Let’s not make you uncomfortable.
Just sit back and read this if you like.

Let’s talk about a one month life-cycle of any woman.
The month starts with happy-go-lucky days. She looks beautiful, says the most charming
things, she is coy, cute, wear gorgeous hair, has refined-painted-healthy nails and ooh la la, look at that enchanting smile. This woman is in her best element alright. 10 (10 to 15, can vary) days pass by, embroiled in day to day routine, she bungles at a task like the best of men do too, she erupts with joy over good news, is sad over bad news. Point is, if you were from outer space and watched her, you would see nothing ‘out of place’. All of human race, those ones with the balls and those with  bosoms, behave more or less the same.

Suddenly, you noticed an unknown spirit seemed to have taken over the gentler creatures of the race. Irritability, tension, dysphoria or unhappiness seeps its way into her being and possesses her for the next 10 days. Some of them have difficulty in falling asleep (insomnia), headache, fatigue, mood swings, increased emotional sensitivity, and changes in libido. Don’t be alarm. What you see is what they call PMS or Premenstrual Syndrome.
The exquisite creature called woman has suddenly bloated, has these small zits called acne on her otherwise flawless delicate face, complains of abdominal cramps, constipation, swelling of the breast, joint or muscle pain.

Shock? Ah, that explains the astonished look and gaping mouth.

Well, guess what?  It does not end here.

Conditions that can get magnified for the woman  during pre-menstruation include depression or other affective disorders, migraine, seizure disorders, fatigue, irritable bowel syndrome, asthma, and allergies.
And so the woman completes her 20 days of the month.
The next 5 to 7 days, she would be bleeding.
If you think it less troublesome for her, cause by now all of the PMS symptoms would have disappeared as mysteriously as they appeared, you are dead-on wrong.
It can be a period of discomfort cause she would have to take proper care of herself, in terms of hygiene, what to wear and how to carry herself. Normal activities does not stop. They continue, no matter what.

So she completes 25 to 27 days of a month, juggling amongst skyrocketing, see-sawing, wrecking, roller-coaster emotions.
And, it’s month end already.

This is just a month of her life.
Multiply that by 12 months in a year.
Heck, it’s all her life!

Oh do you know, she also gets hit  by menopause in the later stage?
And if you think there is a pause in these emotional upheavals, just because there is a pause in ‘meno-pause’, you are again dead-on wrong.
Menopause brings in its own stuffs!
It never ends.

So you still think you don’t understand women, mate? I empathize.
Even as a kindred soul, going through the same things like every woman, I don’t understand women. I don’t attempt to. However, my common sense tells me she needs empathy, understanding and acceptance. And that’s what I do.

All she needs is love.

I agree that the sexist jokes against women are well thought of.
I agree some jokes need to be just that- A Joke.
They are definitely well thought of. Kudos to the writers of these jokes (wishing though that they direct their creativity to more honest-to-goodness, wholesome jokes).
I just hope that they understand why.

For the sensible ones amongst men, do think twice the next time you ‘let out’ on any woman in your life, think twice before you make fat jokes, take time to listen and don’t advice. They just need you to listen.

As for all my women friends, if you want to know more about PMS and how you can prevent it, you can visit sites such as this one - http://women.webmd.com/pms/premenstrual-syndrome-pms-symptoms

To conclude, in all fairness to men, let’s smile at the following joke.

Q: How long does it take for a man to make dinner?
A: As long as it takes for him to get out the belt!
Hold on a second.
You think men have it easy???? :O

 You're dead wrong, they have to work up a sweat to keep taking out the belt and putting it back in again.


 [Disclaimer:- I am not condescending to men.I have high respect and love them dearly. I know they cry when sad, smile when glad.This post is written as an insight into a woman's world]


Thursday, July 08, 2010

That sinking feeling...

That sinking feeling…

Live, love, cry, lose, bleed, scream;
You’ll live.
You err, you repent, you make up, and you heal;
You’ll live.

Throw caution into the wind,
Free fall if you will.
Crash or burn.
You’ll still live.

Bite more than you can chew.
You’ll grieve, break, pray, ask, beg;
Stand up.
Cause you’ll live.

Hold off your pain,
Don’t hide your scars in shame.
Quit crawling
You’ll live.

I recommend all of the above,
If you want to really live.

But,
Smile or weep, happy or sad,
Be forewarned.
There will always be that unwelcome nightmare,
Hovering shadows,
Tormented, you’ll be.
Until you shirk it off, yet again.

It’s that sinking feeling.
That feeling of bewilderment,
Like something is out of place.
Like someone somewhere is hurting and you can’t help it,
Cause by then, you know it’s you.
Heavy laden is the heart,
Down you’ll be, disheartened for sure.
Something isn’t right.

Oh that sinking feeling!

Whats it like to fall in love?

I was trying to articulate the feeling...until i came across this awesome answer ...

 Whats it like to fall in love?

Let's say... the object of your affection walks by,
First, your heart falls into your stomach and splashes your innards...
All the moisture makes you sweat profusely.
The condensation shorts the circuits to your brain and you get all woozy.
When your brain burns out altogether, your mouth disengages and you babble like a cretin until he/she leaves...
Medically speaking, that's love! 


I vouch one thing - He makes me woozy! :-)

Follow this site

Follow this site >