Cup and Saucer

Elayne Boosler said, “When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It’s a whole different way of thinking”.

Did Elayne knew while stating this, that she might have discovered a goldmine of wisdom- the root cause of so much hurt, resentment, tears, between men and women?

If she did and if she ‘understood’ the gravity of what she was saying, applied it in her life; her relationship with a man would be an almost perfect- give and take; more listening and less of nagging; empathy, not fault-finding; a warm embrace instead of a simple nod; a verbal endearment in place of silent appreciation; in a nutshell, a man and a woman would be able to find that ‘elusive’ communication bridge that could dissuade such differences if not put them away for good.

In today’s age where one can get information on anything under the sun at just the click of a mouse; no wonder one would find a potpourri of books on the man and his counterpart, the woman.


Let’s name a few… at the top of my head…I can recall

1. Men are from Mars, women from Venus
2. Why men don’t listen and woman can’t read maps
3. Why men don’t remember and women never forget
4. Brian sex: the real difference between men and women
5. Why men lie and women cry
6. Why men don’t have a clue and women always need more shoes( I love this one! )


Ahem, need I name more??? I guess you get the flow by now.

The point is can any of these books, no matter how well researched upon, written and read, really make a mark difference in the interactions between the two sexes???

It will always be true that the brain is made primarily of two different types of tissue, called gray matter and white matter. Research reveals that men think more with their gray matter, and women think more with white. Men would do better in mathematics whereas women better them at social sciences and languages.







Let’s state an example :

( This example is frequently mentioned in most articles. I have just tweaked it a bit)

A disclaimer: This story is fictional. All characters in this story are fictional. They have no resemblance to any person living or death. If you wish to differ on this, you can take it up with me, one to one :P


Sam and Carol have been together for some months now.
Today is a good evening. Both were having a good time together. They saw a movie, laughed through popcorn spills, and went for a drive.


At the traffic stop, Carol looked over at Sam, her heart warms up at the mere sight of him and wondered where they were heading. 4 months was a long time of being together.

Carol, her heart racing, her stomach churning, casually yet suggestively told Sam, ‘ Hey, we have been together for 4 months now Sam’…

Sam, a surprised look on his face responded ‘ wow! 4 months eh???’ and smiled.

And then he suddenly remembered that his car’s servicing date was 4 months overdue. Damn! he missed it again.

Frowning, angry at his carelessness Sam drove hurriedly through the traffic to drop Carol home.

Meanwhile, Carol was in smithereens!
She thought, ‘Oh what have I done! I have angered Sam… he must be thinking am pushing him towards a commitment he is not ready for’…

Before she stepped out of her car, she turned to Sam and said ‘Sorry Sam. It was a harmless statement. I did not mean to put you off. Thanks for the lovely evening’.

Perplexed Sam, embroiled in his car servicing issue and the football match he might missed if he does not hit the wheels soon, muttered, ‘It’s ok. Thanks. See ya Carol’.

And off he goes!


Now you don’t have to be a genius to predict what happens next :D

Carol would be weeping her eyes dry, call up her girl-friends, discuss Sam, dissect his every word, their every conversation for hours, come out with two to three conclusions…and remain miserable for the whole week!

On the other-hand, Sam was glad to make it on time for the match!
And a thought of Carol and her strange apology just made him smile-‘Women!’, he exclaimed.





Funny eh?

Yeah, it would be funny if it only was not so exasperating, if only you are not a Sam or a Carol.


However, why try to disrupt the yin and the yang?

Women will always worry about the things men forget.
Men always worry about the things women remember.

Let the books serve as guidelines for better relationships.
Don’t expect them to somehow transpose men’s thinking pattern into women’s and vice versa.

As for me, I always prefer taking my coffee in a cup that comes with a saucer :-)

Just for you Girl- From my heart to yours

You asked me ‘how life is’, am so tempted to say ‘it’s a farce’.
Sacrilegious!
How could you utter such words?
It’s not the done thing.
It’s the least expected from you girl.
What happened to you?
How could you hurt your mama and your papa, with such a careless attitude?
Weren’t you taught to be joyful in every situation?

Yes I was.
And yes I was taught about all the goodness there is in the world.
Be good cause good always has a way of coming back.
Sweet.

We are taught how to be everyone else, except ourselves.

‘Smile though your heart is breaking,
Smile even though it hurts.
When there are clouds in the sky, you’ll get by-
If you smile, through your pain and sorrow.
Smile, and maybe tomorrow, you will see the sun come through..’

Oh yeah, smile, swallow it all down, don’t lash out.

Don’t lash out?
Yeah right! If you don’t vent out, you are doing good to everyone else except you.

So hey girl, you wanna swear, you wanna cry your eyes dry, you wanna scream your lungs out, you wanna take that trip just for yourself, you wanna throw all cares to the wind for at-least a day?
Do yourself a favor.
Do it.

You are better off being yourself, woman.

Listen to what your heart says for a change :-)

Happy Woman’s Day!

P.S. This is dedicated to all my woman friends.Let's be true to ourselves.

It's ok to be YOU.

I look up and i see..

It’s been a month since I stepped on Big brother’s backyard. Caught in the whirlwind of activities, today I could relax my mind and finally pen down what’s been churning, stirring, boiling, and now ready to spill over. Wow, I have managed to make myself sound no less than a busybody ;-)


The US of A, it’s all what I imagined it to be and all what I never thought it could be.

Have you ever walked into Landmark store at forum, Bangalore, looking for a specific book? All you got to do is walk over to the right section and voila, you find your book right there (if you don’t, then they don’t have it). That’s in a nutshell US of A for you. Just like everything is aligned in neatly arranged racks, everything here follows an unwritten law of ‘spick and span’.

It’s a different world indeed from the charming haphazardness of our Indian cities. While in India, the drivers define the road-laws, here the pedestrian rules. Cars would stop for you to cross the road. This back home, is the privilege of the netas only. Lol

Watching TV here would put away all your doubts on why a Television is called an ‘Idiot Box’. The shows are interactive and fun, no doubt, but you can’t help but smile at the idiosyncrasy of the culture here. It’s all about gorging not just the best of rich foods, but also gorging on every luxury possible. This is followed by the ‘fire extinguishers’ like diet plans, diet pills, and insurances against an accident to a heart disease to a broken knee to whatever possible under the sun.

Just sit for half an hour before your television set and you’ll see what I am talking about. The 5 minutes advertisements on intervals, are of the following chronological order:
1. Ads on the best steaks, best burgers, best pizzas available
2. Ads on the best diet plans, best customized diet recipes, best diet pills-available over the counter
3. Ads of the A to Z insurances available; just sign the paper, pay and you are insured.

Yes amidst the orderliness, you can see the chaos in a people gone wrong with the basics. A paradox, an oddity.

There is one thing that is endearing about this nation.
They have a heart to reach out to the less privilege, and they are not shy about it. There are specific channels that dedicate themselves to social uplift-ment of the less privilege in wealth, in health, in basic amenities, in opportunities. Every public place you go to, every organization, every public transport brace the presence of wheelchair driven, specially challenged, and old-aged citizens; therewith providing the necessary facilities. There is an implicit message that amidst the perpetual inequality in class, race, wealth, choices, there is always HOPE. Yeah, to this I say, God bless America.

My sojourn here has not ended….

The emotions I expressed in this article are my first impressions of this land. I am eager to explore more, to see more, to discover what is behind the facade (if any), to know and to relish.

One thing I know for sure, that the chord which binds humans across ‘man-made’ differences exists.


I look up and I see we are…

Underneath the same sun… we are all just nameless dots.

Deliverance ??

I was on my knees, hands folded, staring at the blank wall.
In the distance I could hear Shania crooning ‘find your self esteem and be forever free to dream’.

Far-reaching were her words, but somehow I was no closer to an answer.
Tomorrow I would change, and today would not mean a thing.

I looked at me and I see a child and a mother.
At times I’m a sinner, now and then a saint.
I can be your dream, but I chose to be unworthy.
I have faith in the triumph of goodness, over evil;
But I succumbed without a fight to iniquity.

And, they still look at me like am an angel underneath.

Am I to be ashamed?

Can we just fast forward a few years later,
Can I just wash my hands clean and walk away;
Can I just wrap this part of me as history and sweep it under a rug,
Will my memory be so selective, as to never bring up this side of me ever again?

I know what I really want.
I want some patience, I need deliverance.
I want to make sense of the conflicts, the craziness in silence.
If there could only be a kindred soul who would catch this drift;
Cause I am so strung out and sapped.

I woke up this morning, with a new song.
My heart felt lighter, for reasons I fail to understand.
There was buoyancy in my gait, and a fresh whiff in the air.
Perplexed, I am over this turn of emotions;
I’m still trying to embrace this reversal of my sentiments.

Pray what did happened between the time I closed and opened my eyes?
Did the Maker intercede? Did he send his seraphs to whisper in my dreams?
It must be so.
For somehow, I feel so much better.